


when i was older

by funboys



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Toxic Relationship, dark themes, not much context, super short, unedited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:36:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28665597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funboys/pseuds/funboys
Summary: beomgyu wants the ocean to just sweep him away.he's breaking, unsure of how much longer he can keep this up.and his boyfriend is the cause of it all.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun
Kudos: 11





	when i was older

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _limbo_

despite already being kissed with the color red, the wind continues to assault beomgyu’s cheeks to bring forth a pink shade. it dusts across his face like the glittery stars in the setting pink sky. 

the waves that crash against the sand call to him, hypnotizing him into a sleepy trance.

he’s so tired, exhaustion making home in his limbs and mind. 

deep crimson splattered on his sweatshirt feels warm, almost hot to the touch and it feels like it’s sticking to his skin. however, he can’t seem to care too much at the moment because whatever just happened, happened way too fast for his mind to process. so he sits and allows the ocean to calm his nerves temporarily. just until he feels like he can get off his feet,

but neither god nor time can tell him when that will be. 

“beomgyu-” yeonjun interrupts his thoughts just for a second but he quickly decides to tune him out. “come on, we’ve gotta get out of here.” though their situation is urgent, his boyfriend isn’t angry or upset with him, only concerned. yeonjun licks his lips with a deep exhale. 

wiping some of the blood onto his dark jeans, he sits next to beomgyu. there is a fixed, broken expression lingering and he knows that the younger is just in shock. yeonjun laces his bloody fingers with his boyfriend’s, pulling him close before nuzzling his nose into his flushed cheek. 

“we’ve got to go,” he repeats, pouting as his eyelashes brush against beomgyu’s skin. It’s enough to snap him out of his trance to turn his head. yeonjun lets out a small sad chuckle, his hands capture his face to plant a kiss on his lips. “i promise i’ll never let anything happen to you like that again. i’ll protect you forever.” yeonjun leans back to see beomgyu’s eyes filling with tears. 

the younger is silent as he focuses on yeonjun’s dark eyes, he swears there is something different about him now. but maybe he’s always been like this and the rose colored glasses have finally been shattered. beomgyu’s bottom lip starts trembling and he lets out the loudest sob. 

it all comes rushing at him. 

pictures flashing of the scariest moment of his life, occurring only from just a few minutes ago. they flood his mind like poison in his blood. “you’re my bane,” beomgyu chokes out inaudibly, still his misery lasts a few moments until it manifests into rage. 

suddenly beomgyu is pushing yeonjun to the sand, “beom-” 

“I fucking hate you!” he shouts, clambering to put all his weight on his boyfriend while he starts to pound his entire body with his fists. despite it inflicting pain, yeonjun lies still, cowering. he knows beomgyu doesn’t have much energy left to keep going. and mercifully, his arms begin wobbling so he holds himself steady, palms flat against yeonjun’s chest as he wipes the tears and snot into his sleeve. 

beomgyu takes the opportunity to look at the yeonjun’s appearance. bloody lip, bruising under his eye and his cheek with a cut across the bridge of his nose. somehow he’s still irresistible and intoxicating. 

“i know you love me,” yeonjun utters as if to reassure himself. although beomgyu wants to object, he doesn’t because he can’t. but he would be lying to yeonjun and to himself. 

“i love you.” yeonjun gulps and parts his lips, wanting to say more though he shouldn’t. so he lets beomgyu have his silence for a little while longer. 

beomgyu sits on the edge of the bed, a fresh set of clothing making him feel cleaner but not enough to relieve the thoughts that still continue to cloud his mind. he takes a glimpse over his shoulder to see yeonjun’s face squished against the softest pillow he could find after a day of icing it for several hours. 

“stupid,” beomgyu mutters, diverting his attention back to the large glass windows that frame the view of the ocean perfectly. _he is stupid_ and those words are full of love, even after all that has occurred.

he admits that this is a love that he needs to let go of. 

_i’ll protect you forever,_ beomgyu scoffs at the thought. resting his chin in the palm of his hand with tears building up once again. their love is dangerous and despite what yeonjun promises him, he’s going to end up more hurt than happy. 

and the past 48 hours have proved just that. 

his hands start to shake and he glances at them, dried blood still underneath his nails. beomgyu’s stomach churns but he balls his hands up so he couldn’t throw himself into another spiraling panic.

the strong salty breeze hits him as he opens the back doors, the feeling immediately stabilizing him once more. and a smell so cool yet igniting sets him free. 

the sand is bitingly bitter against his feet and the ocean even more so. 

if only he could take a few steps further and leave everything behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just some random writing blurb i needed to get out of my system. i will probably make it into a short chapter series sort of thing but don't expect to understand what it all means because im not sure either.


End file.
